She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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