xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
