Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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