I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so let's talk penis.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
