He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize