Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
