its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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