Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
