i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
