why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sext me about skeletons
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
