I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
