the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
