Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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