remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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