Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
even my farts smell like vagina
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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