mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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