he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
