First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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