Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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