I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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