I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
