it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
