We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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