all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
