the condom got lost in my hair
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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