remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Come see our sink grown plant.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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