i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize