for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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