she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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