i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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