Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
