I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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