speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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