If you die in college, do you die in real life?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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