I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
tell me about the eggs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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