I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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