her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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