is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
