I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
