im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We need to get me chipped asap
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
