love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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