I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
