I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
