im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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