All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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