I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize