That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
