you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Randomize
