The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
