I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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