Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
