17 year olds will be the death of me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
