I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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