I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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