worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was confusing and full of hummus
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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