Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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