is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
