Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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