I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
