Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
