My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
