walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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