This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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