I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
