i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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