Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
