Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
