i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
