My first STD was from a foam party
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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