You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Pooping to opera.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
