Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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