Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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